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Long Jokes

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Long Jokes

Save...

Three men, an Scot, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building. The Scot jumped off and shouted ''God save Scotland !''...

Motorist

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. “How did you know I was speeding?” the frustrated driver asked. The police officer pointed somberly toward...

Dog's Food

A guest have visited Molly’s house. She gave her a plate of biscuits. Just after that, her dog started to bark at the guest. Guest: Why is the dog barking at me?...

Meaning of W.I.F.E

Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife?...

Oh no he didn't!

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same...

A Guest in a resturant

A guest in a restaurant was having abdominal stress and he would like to break wind....

Billy vs.Teacher

Teacher: Billy stop making ugly faces at other students! Billy: Why, ma’am!...

Wifes birthday!

Its the wifes birthday Husband: hunny im sorry i forgot your birthday.....

Teacher and Student!

Teacher is fed up with the lack of effort in her so finally ask the class “stand up if you stupid” hoping to prove an important point....

3 Lawyers and 3 Engineers

Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to the same meeting. At the station, the lawyers each buy a ticket but the engineers buy just one. When asked why, the engineers coyly said “You’ll see.” They all board the train, the lawyers...

Old man and a Doctor

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.” The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at ...

Money No..

The following is a letter from a son at boarding school to his father. Dear Dad $chool is ace. I have made lot$ of new friends -$imon $tephen and $tanley. I really can’t think of any $tuff that I need just now. If it i$ okay with you though...

A typical Texan baby..

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced “a typical Texas baby” weighing twenty pounds. Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked...

Two drunk men.

Two drunken men are talking. Man 1: I am planning to buy the world. Man 2: You can’t. Man 1: Why?...

Mom, Dad and their Child

A mom, a dad, & their child went into the house. Mom wanted to take a shower so the little girl ask to take one with her. mom of course said yes but told her not to look down. the little girl ended up lookin’ down anyway...

Somebody...Nobody..Crazy

police:police station hello.? boy:sir,i need your help,somebody is fighting with nobody.....

The student has a point!

Teacher: How old is your dad? Student: He is as old as I am....

Policemen Vs. Pedestrian

Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?" Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!"

Blonde - Ice Fishing

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so she stopped at the nearest pond of ice. She started cutting holes in the ice, and heard, ”There are no fish under the ice.” She got creeped out and started cutting another hole...

Doctor and Lawyer

97. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer...

Facebook - Successfull

Why is Facebook so successful? The secret of it’s success – it works on the theory...

Money

Roy: “Hey, heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?” Tom: “You mean the Axe effect, don’t you?”....

A guy at a bar.

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying....

Airplane

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the the stewardess best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay....

Pot of gold!

There is a big room with four corners. In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman

Amusement Park!

One day, a class teacher told to her class who wants to go to amusement park? If you want to go raise your hands. Everyone raised their hand except one boy...