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Jokes

Akela

What you you call a lonely banana?

Kill everyone you hate!

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder..

Anna Nicole Smith

Q: Why did Anna Nicole Smith change her hair color from blonde to red?...

Can you Plese give me a ring?

A girl asked her boyfriend: 'Darling, if we get engaged, will you give me a ring?'...

Motorist

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. “How did you know I was speeding?” the frustrated driver asked. The police officer pointed somberly toward...

Dog's Food

A guest have visited Molly’s house. She gave her a plate of biscuits. Just after that, her dog started to bark at the guest. Guest: Why is the dog barking at me?...

Meaning of W.I.F.E

Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife?...

Money

Roy: “Hey, heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?” Tom: “You mean the Axe effect, don’t you?”....

Blatant Insult 4

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you ....

Blatant Insult 1

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling..

A guy at a bar.

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying....

Airplane

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the the stewardess best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay....

Billy vs.Teacher

Teacher: Billy stop making ugly faces at other students! Billy: Why, ma’am!...

Pot of gold!

There is a big room with four corners. In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman

Blonde that..

Did you hear about the blonde that…

Amusement Park!

One day, a class teacher told to her class who wants to go to amusement park? If you want to go raise your hands. Everyone raised their hand except one boy...

Yo mama so fat

Yo Ma ma So Fat When ...

Elf in a school!

What does an elf learn in school?

High School

What was Rita carrying a ladder?...

Ghosts

Why are Ghosts bad liars?....

Policemen Vs. Pedestrian

Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?" Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!"

Simple Addition

The teacher asked little Johnny, "What's two and two?". He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?". She said...

Someday...

Some day you will find yourself...

Brain Transplant

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because

Save...

Three men, an Scot, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building. The Scot jumped off and shouted ''God save Scotland !''...

3 Lawyers and 3 Engineers

Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to the same meeting. At the station, the lawyers each buy a ticket but the engineers buy just one. When asked why, the engineers coyly said “You’ll see.” They all board the train, the lawyers...

Old man and a Doctor

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.” The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at ...

Money No..

The following is a letter from a son at boarding school to his father. Dear Dad $chool is ace. I have made lot$ of new friends -$imon $tephen and $tanley. I really can’t think of any $tuff that I need just now. If it i$ okay with you though...

A Blonde Couple

A blonde couple – Brenda and her husband, Joe go to their pharmacist and begin to ask questions like if the pharmacy checks for medications past their expiration date and the reliability of a certain manufacturer that makes birth control pills...

Oh no he didn't!

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same...

Blatant Insult 3

Did your parents ever ask you to...

Insult

Calling you stupid would be an insult...

A Guest in a resturant

A guest in a restaurant was having abdominal stress and he would like to break wind....

Fat

Yo mama so fat God told her he...

Somebody...Nobody..Crazy

police:police station hello.? boy:sir,i need your help,somebody is fighting with nobody.....

Wifes birthday!

Its the wifes birthday Husband: hunny im sorry i forgot your birthday.....

The student has a point!

Teacher: How old is your dad? Student: He is as old as I am....

What started singing!

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to the ocaen a whale started singing...

Yo mama

Yo mamma so ugly, ...

Epic Teacher vs. Student

teacher: Name two animals that live in a cold region?...

Curtains!

Why did the boy take a pencil to bed? ...

Seven Even

How do you make seven an even number?...

Fall Joke

Teaser Text

School Punishments

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started...

Blatant Insult 5

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use...

Magic Markers

Q: Why do blonde nurses carry a red Magic Marker?

Scientific explanation for something basic.

One day, Little Tommy asked his Class teacher, "Teacher, why are the days longer in the summer?"....

Blonde - Ice Fishing

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so she stopped at the nearest pond of ice. She started cutting holes in the ice, and heard, ”There are no fish under the ice.” She got creeped out and started cutting another hole...

Doctor and Lawyer

97. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer...

Facebook - Successfull

Why is Facebook so successful? The secret of it’s success – it works on the theory...

A typical Texan baby..

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced “a typical Texas baby” weighing twenty pounds. Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked...

Two drunk men.

Two drunken men are talking. Man 1: I am planning to buy the world. Man 2: You can’t. Man 1: Why?...

Blatant Insult 2

As an outsider, what do you think of...

Human an You!

Any similarity between you and a human is...

Mom, Dad and their Child

A mom, a dad, & their child went into the house. Mom wanted to take a shower so the little girl ask to take one with her. mom of course said yes but told her not to look down. the little girl ended up lookin’ down anyway...

Typical blonde..

A blonde keeps running back and forth on his driveway checking his mail....

Sold Car!

Yo’mama so stupid, she sold her car for ...

Blonde Inventions

The water-proof towel...

Gorillas and their nostrils.

Aaric: Why do gorillas have huge nostrils?...

Haunted house application!

5. Yo mamma so ugly when she went to a haunted house she

Teacher and Student!

Teacher is fed up with the lack of effort in her so finally ask the class “stand up if you stupid” hoping to prove an important point....

Sleep!

Why did the kid sleep with ruler?..,

Cant walk!

What has four legs but can't walk? ....

Santa and a Smart Blonde

What is common between Santa and Smart Blonde?

Crazy Teacher

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny," she said...

Little Old Man

The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment...